i can't help but feel helpless. i can't help but feel like im losing touch. i can't help but feel nothing. why can't i just stay the same, forever. the thoughts are so awful but i have to do something. i need to do something. i need the feeling of nothing to go away. as redundant as it is. i need to let go. cut my losses. give up. go home. move on. it's not working. it's not what it's supposed to be. im too young to let it be this way. to put up with it. to worry this much. what's wrong with me...